Friday, November 18, 2005

Know Your Friends

As a little follow on from the last post.

Optus bumph talks about all the wonderful things you can do with your new toy.

All the wonderful things you and your friends can do with your new toy.

Assuming that your friends also have Optus mobiles...

...But then, who'd want to associate with anyone else?

ParaBatterNokianoia

I have just signed on to Optus' $9.50 plan, and taken delivery of my new Nokia 6110i mobile phone.

As part of the accompanying gush and bumph, there is a little note detailing how to tell whether or not you have a *genuine* Nokia battery. Non-genuine power sources may blow up.

Leave nothing to chance, as you:
  • find a hologram sticker on the battery side (check)
  • observe that the hologram is as indicated (check)
  • observe that there are the requisite number of dots to the top, left , bottom, and right (check)
  • scratch the side of the hologram to reveal: a 20 digit ID!!! (...check!?)
  • go to the Nokia website to verify the ID (...oh, for goodness sake!)
This reminds me of the yada over getting genuine inkjet refills for your printer or you'll be sorry (Though not half as sorry as the characters who miss the revenue stream).

I may be showing my ignorance, but I just don't see a huge revenue stream in lithium batteries.

Someone clearly needs to get a life.

Friday, November 11, 2005

There is No Spoon...

...or green dot!

Nice illusion, though! (Thanks Alfie)

I remember experiencing a similar effect at a college ball where the ambient lighting was red.

A desperately compensating visual cortex saw all glowing cigarette ends as green, and the lights in the outer hall as a soft purple.

Nice to know it wasn't the mushrooms...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

WOT: a Smokescreen?

Having commented that the urgency with which the new anti-terrorist laws were enacted last week would require justification through subsequent arrests, the appropriate sacrificial lambs were duly rounded up on Monday.

Evil thwarted. Australians can breathe more easily. All in the nick of time...

Except...

Victorian Commissioner of Police Christine Nixon commented that, while the new laws helped Victorian police, they were not critical. Says she: "We were working to a point where we believe we'd have been able to take action otherwise."

and, it seems that Howard's remarks on the need for legislation actually tipped off the wannabe Bang Boys, to the annoyance of the police, who were watching them pretty closely.

So, was this just 'careless talk', or was it 'couldn't care less' talk that gives conspiracy theory #2 a boost?

Friday, November 04, 2005

WOT: Another Coincidence

Commenting on Howard's attempts to slam through new police powers, The Age's Michelle Grattan observed that the immediate need for such powers should be verified by a series of arrests shortly thereafter.

Having got them through, John Howard now says that Australians should not expect arrests...
Who to believe?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

WOT: A Coincidence

The War On Terror has led to a lot of hysterical posturings and attempted panics.

Working on the theory that panicked populations are more malleable to certain soothing suggestions from their elders and betters, and that senate majorities are so convenient, choose your conspiracy:

#1: They Want to Control Them
Four years after 9/11, and three years after the Bali Bombings, the Australian govt is set to pass through anti-terror laws granting unprecedented powers to detain and monitor 'controlled persons' (How controlled persons are defined may lead to questions about juducial independence) .

These laws were initially going to be sledged through, with about eight hours debating time (nice to have a moajority). They were scheduled for debate on Cup day, when public attention was elsewhere.

By coincidence, on the same day the bill was to be debated, a 'credible threat' to Australian security was announced. (From the same folk who exposed illegal immigrants as not above throwing their children overboard? Yeah, right!)

What threat was that?

Oh! A credible one.
(Don't you worry about that!)


#2: They Want to Control the Workforce
It has been pointed out that the aforemenioned teacup sloshings are being used to divert attention from the new Industrial Reforms, which seek to replace block bargaining with individual contracts, remove unfair dismissal claims (from small companies: look to see big companies become umbrella groups!).
The Government has already been accused of trying to sell this legislation to the taxpayer with their own money.
Where does it say they can do that in my contract?


#3: They Want to Control Us
Finally, hiding away behind both of the above smokescreens, is a 464 report on the conduct of the 2004 election which has some 'interesting' recommendations:
  • Closing the Ballot Enrolments on the day the election is announced
  • Denying the vote to prisoners serving more than three year terms
Seems reasonable? Well, forget the knee jerk: check out the arguments against and how these measures might effectively deny a large chunk of the population of a vote
Relax! Just let us govern!
...Three conspiracies to choose from. Which isn't to leave out the most frightening theory of all:

#4: They Want All of the Above
Don't we all?